Barsexuality is the new black.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
