I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
time to smoke my breakfast
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
