Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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