Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
