just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
