you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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