so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
