you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
