Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
