I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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