Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
