K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
