someone get that fucking seahorse.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
