And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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