Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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