I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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