I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
