Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
