Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just pee around me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
