I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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