So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize