U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
