I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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