there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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