Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
