I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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