I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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