The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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