i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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