No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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