we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize