the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
