In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Welp...herpes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
