"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
