He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
