I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just pee around me
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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