I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
