My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
