I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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