You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
