She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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