I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
