:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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