i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize