So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
