I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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