i may or may not be watching the land before time
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
