Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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