He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
