This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
