Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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