I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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