one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize