I cockslap morals
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I am morally bankrupt
the condom got lost in my hair
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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