i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
