i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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