soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
