Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
