I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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