I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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