just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
