quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
