At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
