as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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