hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
